Nah, I'm just going to keep fucking him until he realizes we're perfect for each other.
can we change the rule from "no one is ugly after 2 am" to 1130 so i can justify last night
I hid my booze in my old Sesame Street lunch box. Big Bird might be disappointed, but I feel Oscar the Grouch would approve.
so you told her it was a 'nam scar? i mean, how old does she think you are.
Im also drinking whiskey while on a treadmill wearing high heels so let's consider that for a moment.
He'd pee in it. And since it's PBR I'd have no idea
Man, I want to make his penis a sandwich.
Still no second date. Guess you shouldn't show guys your taser on the first date.
Well if she's the kinda girl that doesn't want you after seeing a pic of your balls squeezed together, she's not the girl for you.
He's a psychology major, so instead of becoming a stripper, I'm just working out my daddy issues with him. And his cock. And spankings.
They're much more educational now btw. Don't judge.
Both of us came out of our rooms at the same time in boxers and sat on the couch. No words were spoken.
Remember those two guys in our frat that would no homo everything? I just got an invitation to their wedding.
You threw up everything but your ovaries.
I have a lot of money, and no morals. shots on you when you get here.
Come on baby if you haven't had a Charleston chew eatin out of your ass you just ain't livin right.
Randomize
