i threw up in a trash can last night at kellys irish times. but in a trash can because i'm a lady
i mistaked the back of her knee for her vagina
walked into the kitchen nd asked my mom what smells like tuna she replies" your sister" now i cant eat tuna...EVER!!!
and all i could think was, am i really about to have sex with someone who still thinks that pee comes out of the actual vagina?
Why hello there Olivia! How are you today on this fine and most wonderful morning full of magic and adventure and awesomeness?
Someone just got laid.
She kept chasing him yelling thief, because he drank some of her drink. That was at 8, it got worse.
puking in a sink with a garbage disposal Fucking. Rules. It's like you're punishing your puke when you're done.
I'm going to buy her a puppy, let her fall in love with it, then kill it in front of her. Does that answer how I feel about her?
I don't know but someone, somewhere gave someone a hand job and someone else was pissed about it...
And I also succeeded in getting kicked out of a bar when I was drinking straight from the vodka bottle at our table.
Thank god for federal credentials. Waaaaayyyy to hungover to go through airport security lines right now.
We were at dinner and dad asked me to pass the salt and I suddenly remembered doing body shots when I was blacked out last weekend.
He had an extremely smooth butt for a man with such rough hands.
Holy shit, just saw a girl in the library smoking a bong disguised as a calculator
No,she came up with a new game: "Where is the most interesting place I can show Drew my asshole?"
Randomize
