Lets go to the mall and pick up some fat chicks and take them out tonight so we can be the skinny friends
Just woke up wearing a top hat and simpsons boxers. i also found more money in my wallet then what i had before going out, about $1000 more
So the D.A.R.E. essay I helped my tutor kid write won an award. Oh the irony.
I have no idea what to do about this. He has a power over me and I think its called his tongue.
Oh you know, watching its always sunny and petting his cat and NOT fucking. I'm starting my whorefree 2012 resolution early.
Been awake for 50 some odd hours. I've discovered I can spew out maaaad papers whilst coked out of my face. My roommates probably think I'm dead. Money well spent. You?
As yoda would say; A bitch, she is.
Nothing kills the mood like him going to slap my ass and he hits his balls at the same time
So the pizza place just called me after an hour saying they don't have dough
EVERYBODY CALM YOUR SHIT
I just want to be like "i dont know you but ive seen your penis & i like it"
How did people get blow jobs before text messaging?
Just fell down the stairs..might wanna call the ambulance jus take the weed out of my pocket be4 they come..
I swear to god, no guy has been as interested in sticking stuff up my butt as this girl
So there i was right, midnight, washing my junk off in my bathroom sink.
Randomize
