My T9 Word has dryhumped saved but I can't even get it to figure out bbq.
I just watched Jersey Shore so I would know what rock bottom was when I reach it.
Her little brother walked in right as I was finishing and was like "uhhh hey there's a lunar eclipse outside"
Soo time for a life change, my 6 yr old sister made my gf a puke bucket for her birthday
No. I'm drinking straight up vodka right now. With a pineapple in it.
That'll put some boobs in that bra.
Can we pretty pretty please go to Mardi Gras tomorrow? I promise I'll be a good girl and not puke in a pledges car
Just pee around me
Dicks are so weird. He has kind of a feminine comforter in the background.
i just smoked marajunia from a shotgun barrell. what have you done today?
I said his dick tasted like a Hawaiian Sweet Roll. And then I yelled MAHALO.
Friends don't let friends go vibrator shopping alone.
He also wore a doorag last night so i had to swipe left.
You faceplanted on the railroad tracks and when I tried to tell you to get up, you told me you were "taking a quick breather"
I’m going to cut back. New Year, New Me
I would never wish less dick on anyone but do what you gotta do
Drunk man just fell out of said wheelchair
Randomize