Yeah and Nick is shooting his loaded 9mm in his backyard.
Trust me, I wear more condoms than socks. I wouldn't risk infecting my cock. It's my livelyhood.
Do you ever creep on the girls you have banged and wondered how their walk of shame went?
I'm not going to need your "it doesn't mean you're a slut" pep talk after all.
I woke up with a black eye, bruised knuckles, wearing women's clothing, in a house I did not recognize, next to a solid 9. Thank you for making 21 special.
he gave me a thermos so I could take my coffee with my on drive of shame. I was unexpectedly grateful...
His dick is as big as my 7" heels... Awkwardness is forgotten.
He ended up buying the equivalent of dinner at a Mexican place, in weed
I like how you were offering me $50 last night to come home with you to take care of you and your dog
He puked in the middle of it and I still wasn't disappointed.
Being pregnant feels like you have a hangover everyday.. Don't listen to what anyone says about how wonderful it is
I'm all about clean living these days
You started your day with fried chicken and a bloody
... after you woke up in your own urine
So, random question. How much should you tip a Lyft driver when you realized you've fucked his sister? Asking for a friend.
If there's one thing I think I could really excel it, it's curating a midlife crisis
I’d clean the kitchen before making food. Mark “rang in the New Year” with some rando in there last night
Randomize
