You should see what I'm doing to your stuffed animals
So you refered to him as "monster dick"...not so much
what i wouldnt give for a night at orourkes without seeing 3+people ive slept with
just found out there is no tactful way to ask your girlfriend to wax her stache. no matter what a google search would have you believe.
The only coherent words in the 6 texts i recieved were don't, cute, fucking, beer, and lions
No. If you are gonna end this, you are gonna do it right. Not by getting bombed and falling on a strange penis. That was the old you.
All inclusive resorts are actually just places that livers go to die.
that bad?
u-n-l-i-m-i-t-e-d. f-r-e-e. t-e-q-u-i-l-a.
We've only been here for 15 hours and our names are already on 2 separate police reports. We've also been given our "final warning" by the cops and hotel management.
Just beer bonged tequila, broke into the hotel next door and got chased by security. It's spring break
People who don't like drugs and guac are not people I chose to associate with
I was telling my friend about your penis and the only word I could think of was voluptuous. You have a voluptuous dick.
IT WAS JUST SO LITTLE AND AWKWARDLY FLOPPING BACK AND FORTH
All I want is a hot dog on a Saturday at 2:19 is that to much to ask?!
He sang a ten minute song about me sitting on his face and eating quesadillas. Pretty sure I have to marry him.
I only live four blocks from the bar but when you're hammered this walk feels like the journey through Mordor.
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