So i had sex for a couple seconds last night
he has a girlfriend so we used my stuffed animals to pretend to have sex
I got oddly confused when she started talking in third person in bed.
Just ran into my ex in the WOMENS bathroom. He said I did this to him. Swore he never wore my clothes but said he liked my skirt. I need vodka.
can we change the rule from "no one is ugly after 2 am" to 1130 so i can justify last night
all i remember was you yelling "look at my little feet" at everyone on the way home from the bar.
all i wanted was to be slutty. now i'm meeting him for drinks tomorrow because he woke up before i had a chance to sneak out and was too polite to say no
Yea it's a sex scar. But if anyone asks I tripped up carpeted stairs
Please stop hiding condoms in my house. If I want to have sex with you, I will let you know. FYI, my mom found the ones hidden behind the milk. She was not happy.
Well for number 40 i would prefer to at least like the guy attached to the dick
She was a little hefty, so I turned on the strobe light in our room. Everything looks better with a strobe light.
And then she sprinted three blocks through live traffic towards McDonalds screaming "THE GOLDEN ARCHES ARE CALLING ME"
Is it weird to befriend your older alcoholic landlords?
You whispered 'For Frodo', handed me your shirt, and charged campus security.
Let the healthy eats/juice cleanse begin. Today is day 1
Have you cleansed yourself of the boy yet?
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