Can we have unprotected sex soon?
Don't quote me on that, I'm a walking boner
his pick up line was "wanna get a pizza and fuck?"
did it work
that's not the point...
He went bowling in his bathroom.. And shattered the toilet.
She alternated between blowing me and feeding me bites of the sandwich she made for me.
but you must be fair and judge his penis by normal penis standards and not let your vision be clouded by the rare gem of a penis you have recently encountered
Typcal friday morning so far. Puke, shower, commute/puke, coffee, puke, coffee, bagel, good to go. Lunch today?
I'm using my ex bfs phone number to look up his Kroger card so I can get a discount on condoms...yep this is my life
Well he was mad because I chose tequila over him. He obviously doesn't understand that he will always be second to my first true love.
I was riding him and in the middle he literally said "fuck yeah, Amy Winehouse"
I'm drunk eating a quesadilla while this kid is tryina come over and I'm just like no. I want the quesadilla.
I couldn't figure out what was more important, finishing the shot or putting out the fire on my leg.
I've amended my previous statement: I'm not allowed to put in my two weeks till I ask out the waitress. Now I have motivation on two levels
Cum just came out of my nose. That is all.
He picked me up in Smart Car with the license plate “MYWHIP.” I think my ovaries shriveled up and died.
It was a successful conference for my sales and my sex life. Those are probably related
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