He came through my line today and bought designer impostor perfume, just for men gel, and astroglide. I almost DIED.
Some 6 yr old girl just got on my plane in St. Louis. She was wearing an I Love Canada shirt. She eyed the seat next to me and I stared her straight in the eyes and shook my head. Fuck her. Fuck canada.
We just made mixed drinks in the bathroom of burger king. This is sad.
apparently the dude across the street has been dead for like a month. now I feel bad about pissing on his lawn
so yeah i told her you were going to become a doctor and the first thing she said was "i still don't want to fuck him". i tried.
Our dealer is pledging my frat. When he come to sell me weed I make him take out the garbage.
It was actually pretty good. His cock is as fat as the rest of him and I took out my contacts so I couldn't see him clearly.
Don't make it weird, I don't think about you when I'm climaxing, it's just that I see you rooting me on.
Then pass out next to me, I'll be under a pong table or a park bench. Really depends on the weather during Mifflin
So immediately after we finished having sex she started singing, "The Circle of Life", put her clothes on and then just left. I think I'm in love.
OH MY GOD! I CAN FEEL A PULSE IN MY BALLS IT HURTS! ITS LIKE MINI FEMINIST NINJAS ARE ATTACKING MY BALLS!!!
Yeah except my drinking partners aka my parents went to sleep Cuz ya know, they're old.
i think ive been high everyday since ive met you
Im crying watching 9/11 footage eating spray can cheese in my pajamas.
A massage should never include spaghetti sauce. shit was fucked up
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