Well to be completely honest its more of a 'i wanna do things to you that your parents would not enjoy hearing about' mood
I woke up at 5am and he was watching me sleep... Come get meee!!??
Looks like an M-80 went off in a lb. of pastrami
For those pictures, I will suffer this headache.
nope, if she's going to skank it up with ginge-a-saurus douche she deserves the silent treatment.
pregamed for the floor meeting. so stoned. i keep thinking my RA is shrinking.
Thanksgiving Shitshow: My grandparents found me passed out on the bathroom floor wearing nothing but a scarf made of toilet paper
Delete that photo of me. My ass looks WAY to good it in to be on Facebook for everyone to see. You gotta earn that shit.
The name of tonight's festivities is hereby decreed to be the "Honey Boo Boo Hootenanny".
I really enjoy how cavalier you're being about your chlamydia
Had a turkey baster with clean pee in it in my pants to pass a drug test, and the bottom fell off, so yeah I'm pretty pissed.
But in defense of this shit summer we've had, I totally perfected my shotgunning skills. I have achieved my summer goal.
We're keeping you on a leash this Saint Patrick's Day
It figures that the only time one of my videos on Snapchat gets replayed is a video of my Hedonism Bot impression and NOT my nudes
Hey do you care to explain why there are 3 empty pickle jars next to me when I woke up or do I even wanna know?
Randomize
