remember that time that crown gas station wouldn't sell us a lighter so we had to use matches and birthday candles to smoke with a toilet paper roll? sometimes i miss high school
I'm not saying he's gay. Just that he prob knows what a dick tastes like
"too many" and "free shots" never belong in the same sentence
Send me the video of myself under the polar bear skin. It's important.
I will be naked everywhere
Your lack of dedication to alcohol is forcing me to drink with my ex husband. U suck
I feel like a cloud. A cloud that wants to be laid.
I'm slightly more gay than I thought. I'd go so far as to say I'm a top.
We are 100% horrible people, and im extremely happy we are friends
that almost beats the chick I saw smoking a joint while uni-cycling past my house at 4am. Almost.
Apparently I was telling them, "I AM A STRONG INDEPENDENT WOMAN AND I DON'T NEED YOU TO HOLD MY HAIR," and I pulled my hair back and puked.
THERES A BEAVER CHASING ME, ANGRY BEAVERS IS FUCKING REAL DUDE
All I'm wearing right now is a condom and a sock.
Just one?
Yup. One sock.
Who knew she had talents apart from chugging wine spritzers
Why yes, I DID want cramps for Christmas, how did you know God?
Randomize
