How come twittering sounds sexual?
Because of Bambi.
I have a feeling that after last night, i'm not just going to hell. i'm going to hell on a full scholarship. free admission bitches
Today at work while talking to my co-worker we both realized at the same time that last year I had a one night stand with his roommate and he was in the living room drinking coffee when I did the walk of shame. YAY.
For a day that started with shitting my pants, things turned out fairly well.
doing a bong hit while wearing crest white strips...not such a great idea...
my dad just referred to me and my boobs as 'the three of you'
That bad?
Full length cargo pants, running shoes, and a partial unibrow. Alcohol really is blinding.
I just met his other fuck buddy...I am thinking of befriending her just to fuck with him...manuplating my roommates into hating each other is boring me i need something else to do
I don't remember anything that happened last night past 10.. I made him buy me a Buckeye's Donut tshirt. I have no idea why he'd want to fuck me after that.
I'm in the sex attic, crying, eating french toast and taco
Taco trucks are like ice cream trucks for drunk adults. They should have a mariachi tune they play super loud to bring people out of the bars for tacos.
Fucking in bar bathrooms doesn't count as "rushing things"
I'm torn between wanting to wear lipstick and wanting to make out with strangers.
I told you I couldn't sleep because of the speed and you rolled over and replied "shh. just pretend."
We have ur drink. Mom passed out in the bathroom. I'm goin to the other bathroom. Bs at the top of the stairs on way outside.
Randomize
