She made fun of how I walked so I announced to her boyfriend that I have cum on her face before.
road dome is illegal, just asked in driving school.
Why would he get rid of a girl with no gag reflex? I don't get it.
No flights in Europe due to the volcano erupting. God himself is telling me to spend 4.20 in Amsterdam.
i just got painted green i'm not about to leave for anything
On monday, while we were having crazy monkey sex, I earned $82. Vacation pay rocks.
You're a disgrace to the female race and the love triangle and halloween.
Drunk me cleaned my room for me. Needless to say our relationship has improved greatly
Her facebook status said "just got a sign from god". I texted her and apparently she found a slice of pizza in the shower.
You almost married that.
Tell Taylor to rock on. Tell her she is so beautiful that the sun shines down on her face and shows her beauty. Tell her to live on, like Martin Luther King. He'll never die. He's living his dreams.
Taco trucks are like ice cream trucks for drunk adults. They should have a mariachi tune they play super loud to bring people out of the bars for tacos.
His roommate walked in then asked "well did you at least finish". What a way to start your birthday
I'm that daughter that had to send her mother "DON'T GET SHITFACED" & yes, in ALL CAPS.
Just imagine a dick squawking like a parrot
And I mentioned the burning debate about your circumcision in my Christmas card to your mom.
Randomize
