i dont think there is any level of not caring that i havent covered in the last month
Fuck appropriateness.
she insisted that i refer to her boobs by name.
And by that I mean I told her the plot of the first batman movie as my life and it took her like 20 minutes to figure it out
My neighbor just watched me eat a granola bar without pants, this is a whole new level of unemployed
Give him a trash can and a welcome home balloon, he will be good.
he was inside of, then got up said "we don't want you having a baby," grabbed his car keys and left. so now i'm just sitting on his bed, wondering if he's coming back.
As if finding out the man you just had sex with is married isn't bad enough, it gets so much more awkward when his wife comes in to comfort you...
Yuck. My throat feels like someone chucked a couple of Maltov cocktails down it and finished it off with a super soaker filled with Jameson.
How do you respond to a booty call from yesterday?
im glad to be known as "the girl you had sex with on a golf course"
New rule: if you don't think racism exists, you don't get to put your penis inside me.
3 words: harry potter burlesque. My life is so much more awesome than yours right now.
Just found $31 in my desk drawer. In $1's. WTF happened last night?!
Do u think the bouncer will let me in with a giant stuffed snake?
Randomize
