shes about as inviting as chlamydia
Ya! She had a north face on tho so she was a classy hooker.
I really wanna talk..
if by talk you mean have nasty makeup sex involving marshmellow fluff.. I'm down
I'm finding that as the end of the quarter approaches, the list of things I refuse to do sober keeps getting longer.
How can I explain how nice he is to you? ...like, I'm going to have to have my world famous why being a douche is sexy talk.
I JUST DEFLATED MY BOOB.
I DON'T KNOW WHETHER TO LAUGH OR CALL AN AMBULANCE.
weekly advice from mom, "Drink vodka, it las hess calories"
The best of us have puked in our office garbage cans. I just hope yours wasn't the metal mesh kind...and bagless like mine. Rock n roll office manager.
I'm pretty sure I just need an IV drip of Plan B at this point...
You rode your bike four miles to my house. Yelled "I'm so high!" Then crashed into his car. It's a problem.
Also I'm proud of us for having an educational conversation in this group text.
Did you put candle wax on my balls last night?
I made a booty call at 3:30 am on a Monday... I think I just became the ultimate female fuckboy. I don't know whether to be ashamed or get myself a trophy.
my life is like one bad, slutty lifetime movie.
We have sober sex! It's a real relationship.
Randomize
