When I woke up his cat was sleeping on my face and i had scratch marks on my neck. not happy.
only room for one pussy in that bed.
dude, best porn name ever, "the Hunt for Red Cocktober"
i'm like carrie bradshaw but prettier and with a penis
the cashier at riteaid just made the sign of the cross before he rang up my pregnancy test. now i know god is on my side
she sucked my dick to get the taste of the last guy's out. I need to find a new friend with benefits.
I know it should be off bounds, but can this be the chick we all sleep with at some point? I can write it off as drunken mistake, you all just have to come up with equally good excuses
Theres been so much buildup for our genitals to meet, one or both of us is sure to be disappointed.
I owe you 20 bucks. My blood work did show liver damage.
I'm not wearing underwear, I started my period this morning, and it's super windy. Recipe for disaster?
The moral of the story is do not hire me because everything will end up smelling like pickles and I will not sufficiently clean it up.
I spent a lot of time in their kitchen cause I was convinced that the living room was gonna fall... Sorry for not warning you about that.
We kind of broke a table making out. So yes, I'd say it was successful.
Naw but when she was in the bathroom I threw the condom out the window and I'm pretty sure it hit some girl
like, is this a date?? I'm sitting on his couch drinking a juice box while he makes taquitos in sweat pants
I'm literally watching a webcam of the Vegas strip right now and it is making me sad.
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