He looked like the mexican version of Steve Carrell with a unibrow.
Fyi: he's overweight and balding. My biological clock is ticking so loud I can't hear the TV.
question: does your pee smell like mojitos at all?
I GOT MY PERIOD!
damn. i had names picked out.
my friend asked What a UTI was in front of everyone, letts just say his girlfriend was a lil pissed
winter break is going to suck... i have to put away my college personality and transform into who my parents think i am.
we just pregamed for our presentation... gotta love group bonding
Cuz last time you told me I was going to be shocked about something you got a hand job from a stripper in canada
So the bump is from hitting my head in an elevator. Apparently I dived into a cab head first too.....
Dude I wanna go on a booze cruise
Dude our life is a booze cruise
But without boats...
I wish I was in the big bed with a naked you post sex eating chicken nuggets
i think the realest test of our friendship is how hot your sister looks right now
I fully support your bad decision but I do not approve of your unironic use of the word yolo
I found my wallet. Still have no idea when I put mad dog in my steel water bottle, though...
I am literally so hung over that I just opened up my emergency kit, got out a survival meal replacement bar and ate it.
Randomize
