dude beer before liquor = i want to shoot myself in the face
new revelation: five guys for breakfast
new revelation: previous revelation not a good revelation
She uses empty wine bottles as book ends. 2 on each side. At least 8 shelves.
Just bought plan B with a coupon. Told the pharmacist I like to keep it classy.
Every day you talk to me ... I literally love you more..
How long is it safe to eat only Hot Pockets and Popsicles?
If he starts "inventing" things cut him off. The last thing he invented was chocolate chip green beans and he destroyed my kitchen
seriously who else gets carried home puking from a fucking mary kay party?
Did you bedazzle the elevator?
Just thought you should know I'm having a reunion tour of Athens this weekend. Minus the weird guy I was fucking last time.
You will never be paid again to get drunk and tell off cops without being arrested. Once in a lifetime opportunity
You're right. Fuck my job. I'm in.
His legs actually look hot in that dress. He might even make a better girl than Josh
I threw a dessert topping at a baby tonight so drink up! If you stay sober tonight I will be very disappointed in you.
Keep two things coming: nudes and puppy pictures
What is ur current declared sexuality for my bingo board
I need weed and if he's hot, maybe he can supply me with sex too.
Randomize
