ok plan lets look hot and dance like whores.
filled out health questionnaire for lower premiums a little bit too honestly. Literally got assigned a life coach.
omg i forgot michael madsen was in free willy this is the most epic movement of my stoned life
It's like the only way I know how to apologize is by giving a blow job.
We stayed in and smoked weed and watched Dreamgirls. We made each other's vaginal lips sing the songs. Mine was Beyonce, hers was Jamie Foxx. I think this is one of those times you're jealous you're not an awesome lesbian.
Just mixed vicodin and mucinex. This cold just got fun.
Want to get together for a boner voyage before you leave?
So I think before Superbowl weekend begins we should all take a look back on last year and learn from our pitfalls... AKA no touchdown shots and kitchen crying.
In her drunkenness, she packed a bag with tequila, two shot glasses, salt, a knife, and two pears. She was prepared but too high to distinguish pears from limes.
Would you still love me and fuck me doggie style if I had a dinosaur tramp stamp?
She rode my dick so hard I momentarily lost hearing. I guarantee I had the better St Patrick's.
I woke up the whole house screaming I need my shorts they found me in the kitchen with a bag of strawberries naked
Don't get mad but There's blood everywhere and the only thing I remember is the bj from your cousin.
Let's just say, I will never again lick an asshole.
remind me again why we thought drinking hungarian moonshine was a good idea
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