those bitches were sniggering at my man-pris like they were goddesses of fashion!
...dude i pray you are quoting something, someone, anyone...
My nephew just came out playing with my moms vibrator.
quick I need to know all the foods that the very hungry caterpillar ate
Just watched Hilary Duff have a three-some on Gossip Girl...all I could imagine was that LIzzie Maguire cartoon girl freaking out above their heads
dude so we were eating nacho cheese popcorn and chasing it with cole slaw
by the way nacho cheese popcorn is me making popcorn and then adding milk butter and mac n cheese mix
are you excited because you wanna see me or because you wanna get laid?
bc i get to see you. naked.
i had a threesome. one of the guys used to bully me in high school too for being gay.
The compounded multi day delayed hangover hit me hard today, with a vengeance normally reserved for large objects that go in my ass. I don't feel good.
We just got home a lil bit ago. No sorority girls showed except the ugly swimmer chick and she asked if I've ever faked an orgasm.
im questioning your sanity while also accepting your reality
Like you can't just be like oh bb and THEN SEND ME A FUCKING PICTURE OF MY 8TH GRADE FAT SELF IN A TACO COSTUME
4 pharmacies and not one had Plan B. If this is gods way of telling me it's time for a child, he can fuck off.
I just threw up into a baby carriage. There was a baby in it.
And change of plans today, I'm gonna lay in bed and eat taco bell and try not to die. Brazilians another day.
The one time I decide to bring people over you are laying naked on the coffee table watching the ceiling fan cause "it just moves so fast" I'm guessing you got paid today??
Randomize
