Spent $1500 on bottle service and have a lump on my head from hitting the nightstand while puking. Excess? Nooo Success.
i may or may not be watching the land before time
Taking the airport shuttle drunk should not happen this often in my life.
I finally beat you i just fucked my professor last night!!!\n\n
sry, psychiatrist trumps professor
she broke up with me using backstreet boy lyrics
you deserved it if you knew it was backstreet boys.
Just had to pull out another loan to pay for that public drunkenness citation. I am so ready to graduate.
You walked in on me taking a shit and told me to hit the bong
These old men are woofing at me..PLEASE HURRY
Even when you're not here I still manage to get pad thai in my vagina
Maybe shotgunning 4 days after oral surgery wasn't such a good idea after all...
I dont know if you relize this but ive been high ly medicated in my room for a whil now. GOing out into the real world would make me li ke tom ha nks. im not ready to be tom hanks..
I just remember dedicating a shot to me giving you head so it was obviously a good night
I am googling "notable people who had syphilis"
We both shit in the same closet in Santa Fe. Nothing is sacred anymore.
A dozen fresh-baked cookies delivered to my dorm AND I don't have chlamydia or gonorrhea... Could this night get any better??
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