smell like capt'n and strawberry champagne
bras are like tupperware for tits, keeps em fresh.
Your dick is once again the conversation topic.
Nothing better then your mother meeting someone you randomly had sex with and him introducing himself as the guy who rocked her world once.
my entire walk over here no one looked in my eyes. Period Boobs are BAACKKK.
Ever since I discovered that youporn works on blackberry, my brickbreaker skills have gone to shit
Were making a bet for which twin will relapse while in rehab. I'm going for the chubbier one
Yeah he gave the rest of the brownies to the bouncer that took his fake
I was asking the bouncer, "if I fall will you catch me?" which then turned into "if I jump off the roof will you catch me?" He said no.
I'm just gonna pretend you didn't ask me that. I'll sweep that shattered moment of our friendship under the shame rug.
I immediately retract my statement involving hylecopters being allowed to blow up sharks out of the water.... The idea if it is super incredible but ultimately it would be cruel and unessesary
My mother is a bitch. She just outed me to my dad. He wants to meet you by the way...
So i stood up out of the sunroof while he gave me oral. Car was still moving. Exactly how illegal is that?
Dude, I can't even reach my asshole to wipe it. I have a lot more to be thankful for this Thanksgiving.
I can't help you there
Literally breaking up to my boyfriend while jamming out to Feraglicious
Randomize
