You know you're wathing too much reality TV when you start adding commentary to every day life.
Even DaVinci knew it was gay to draw the penis big. Thanks art history
Weird we were more concerned with sharing our germs than tag teaming the blow job?
They invented the twister shot game. You put a shot on each circle, take it when you land on it, and if you fall, they funnel the mat and make you drink it. New best friends.
The moment you realize you should grow up: you're snorting your fathers percocet script with your old health insurance card, while your parents are on a 10 day cruise in the carribean...
I dont know. Theres no way you can be ready for the sex hurricane that will consume you.
Me and the cabbie are stopping on the way at a sit down restaurant to eat. My life is so sad.
I could probably be laying here naked and he'd still be more interested in this thunderstorm
He's gonna be so upset when he get's a real job and can't do serious drugs.
I told her I was going to sleep early last night. I probably should not have sent that snapchat of us playing beer pong.
Clearly I was drunk when I met them I gave them a muffin. But they sure remembered me
Jus pulled over and stole. Corn out of a. Field. ... get on my level
Ha! Just garden hosed my vag and thought of you.
Met this british guy. Played pool. Broke into an apartment and had sex
He only has one ball. it was like fucking a cyclops.
Randomize
