I think I just saw someone hide a body.
if you wouldnt have been fucking me hard and crazy like that then my bed wouldn't have broke. you owe me 600.
so you admit it was good then??
If you're trying to subtly tell me that I look like Connie Chung, just stop it. I already know.
im just going to wait until i dont feel like the grim reaper is having sex with me
i was able to set 4 alarms to make sure i woke up in time for class but i couldnt take the open beer out of my pocket before i did cartwheels down the hall...
After she cried and passed out at four in the morning, I had a very lovely, very drunken conversation with her mother while decorating a cake into the shape of a penis.
I puked in a solo cup and then offered it to him. So yeah, it was a rough night.
Youre the drunk baby that everyone wants to take care of.
It's like you're the one guy who got the "girls have clits" memo.
My mom comes home from her weekend with her lesbian co-workers and asks "You wanna know how I got these bruises?" I've never been more torn about anything EVER.
I just woke up to myself peeing the bed. Happy hump day! I'll never get married.
Okay, so when I go to meet your grandma, let's do a quick cum check to we don't have another "what's that on your face?" situation.
As long as he continues to be our subleaser and continues to fuck me, I think it's acceptable for me to steal a piece of bread here and there.
He was fingering me and I came so hard that I actually broke his wrist. We're at the ER now.
Gameplan: If the cops show up, find a potted plant to hide behind... It's worked before!
Randomize
