I really love her but I don't think I can go the rest of my life without anal.
she was talking to me but i could help but stare at the extremely long hairs on her boobs. then she says, "your looking at the hair on my boobs aren't you"
I have all these new brothers and sisters I'm just now finding out about
sold 4 oz of weed today pantsless. man i love college.
In a weird way, I don't want to stalk him on Facebook. I want to find out what's wrong with him the old-fashioned way. Is this what it means to be romantic?
The cops walked in and cracked up bec he was passed out on the couch in a pink tutu.
Not sure how a movie about Jesus has managed to make me feel insecure about my boobs but it has.
She needs sedatives and a leash
I literally walked into the toilet, looked at my reflection, said "alcohol" and went back to bed...
We were drunk having sex and I knocked over her bedside table/fish bowl and she jumped off to check if her fish was still alive but she made me pasta so it's cool
I just don't understand why your parents aren't supporting your dreams of being a medieval weapon smith.
So I had Xanax for breakfast & I'm probably going to fuck my tennis instructor.
Uess honpr I rememebrt hEzS cuter
You'll have to translate that into sober in the morning.
where the fuck are you? she just tazed two people and we're tripping shrooms...successful first night in new apartment!
He was married to his college girlfriend for 20 years. Just give him the blow job he’s been fantasizing about since last century and he’ll be wrapped around your little finger
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