It wasn't awkward until he started humming the Rocky theme song in the middle of fucking
playing new game: drink everytime u see someone at the beach with a tramp stamp, double if u guess it before u see it, triple for male tramp stamps
warning: blackouts possible when playing in ocean city or anywhere in new jersey
I hate that the only Italian aspect of me is I get red and sweaty when I drink
She said her first boyfreind was so small she is still technically a virgin.
just got super drunk mixing jägermeister with my lyme disease meds. even if my face goes paralyzed, at least i got smashed from it.
yeah, and when i walked in on them fucking he said "go away, i'm making sons."
I'm drinking with 3 chicks and 1 gay dude. 100% chance I'm getting laid and 75% chance I'll enjoy it.
That's fun. I just masturbated and I swear my vagina creaked.
she was masturbating to a video of herself masturbaing. She's a keeper
I sexy timed too hard and there is an ass shaped piece of a ping pong table now missing bc of it. How am I allowed to leave the house without a helmet?
I just picked up a hitchhiker so karma will be on our side this weekend. Hahahahahaha
No.
YO CONGRATULATIONS ON YOUR MÉNAGE À TROIS. YOU GO, GLENN COCO
We can't do acid Disneyworld.
Guess who cheated on their SATs? Also on the same line guess who's getting in to Princeton at damn near free of charge?
Yeah. I got a Tetnus shot then partied like it was 1999.
Randomize
