I told her it just looked small because my balls were gigantic. She bought it.
like if someone fucked a dictionary but instead of having a penis, it was just one of those leap frog educational toys
I hope to god you are high
He had personality for days, but cock for only minutes
You poured sparks in your panties and NOW you're wondering why you have a UTI?
I can mark tailgating, going to the game and getting road head off my to do list today
is it just me, or are high schoolers getting sexier?
Went biking. Saw homeless guy beating in the park. Thought of you <3
At least I tried to be smart when I brought the alarm clock into the bathroom just in case I fell asleep.
Drinking down Plan B with a 5 hour energy. Winding down welcome week in style.
I fed him pizza in bed. I'm probably the best one night stand ever.
I think I fixed my testicle. That's why I didnt pay $25 for a doctor to do it
'TWAS BUT A GLORIOUS SIGHT. BITCHES.
I don't mean to crush your hopes and dreams but having sex IN the Stanley Cup isn't possible
So you were shitfaced and stole a fucking kayak?
And I hope you're not misinterpreting us fucking as me trying to win you back. The sex is good and girls have needs.
Randomize
