How drunk are you??
I'm flawless.
dude i was like still drunk, taking pictures of her while she was naked and asleep and she woke up
haha what'd she say
i don't know man, something about us dating. but i never talked to her sober so i said i was making breakfast and snuck out of her house. close calls man WTF
I thought smoking would make her look better, but all it did was enlighten me to her snaggletooth
Sounds like a blessing in disguise
Well I don't think you could recreate that hangover if you tried. It was like the perfect storm of hangovers.
Everybody was literally kung fu fighting
She got mad when I told her I'd bone her mom. She got MORE mad when her mom heard, and was flattered by it. Proud to say I attract MILFS.
we found you under the sink... we opened up the doors and you told us to go away because you were playing indian in the cupboard
Last night you said you were going to stop drinking and then proceeded to dip cookies in your vodka.
Sadly that explains a lot.
Ive been high since the plane left the ground in Los Angeles and Ive been in Chicago. Right now, Im on a train headed towards downtown to go to an anime convention. At this point, I am just taking life as it comes, furries and all.
are you putting in a lot of effort today like appearance wise
I am taking my rightful place as emperor of the undead appearance wise
Well there's only 4 people in my class, we've watched a video, the instructors encouraged us to start using cocaine and now we are on break.
It's been productive.
My penis has like 3 people bidding on it
I let a drunk straight girl spank me with a metal paddle at the bar tonight. Remind me to never do that again.
i woke up on the third floor, naked in a closet.
I had more orgasms than hours of sleep this weekend. I’m going to keep him around a while
Randomize
