Just mADE A PArabola og urine
he confessed his love for me, threw up on my pillow and then fell asleep on said pillow. i met him last night.
better than last weekend. things are really looking up for you.
he just texted me two pictures of his dick. i feel i should rethink whatever vibe im obviously giving out
so is it as big as he says?
he put a tube of toothpaste next to it as a reference. it looks legit
I'm upset that MJ died and all but waking up to his face on my HDTV in the middle of the night while half-asleep is pretty much the scariest fucking thing ever.
i got turned down by a girl after she saw how big my penis was and she said "thats not goin in me"
IM NOT LETTING YOU PEE ON ME IF THATS WHAT YOURE GETTING AT.
As it would turn out, "jesusssssss" is not the password to enter Faith Chapel's wifi network.
Apperanlty I was screaming "It's hard to swim with a broken ankle sir" and then tackled the lifeguard. The joys of blackouts
just tried to puke while my RA was trying to puke in the stall next to me.bonded for life
they paper machayed me.
i told you ... never pass out drinking with preschool teachers.
Driving a mountain pass in the middle of a blizzard with the worst vodka gummybear hangover ever is gods way of telling me to keep the black-outing within a 15 mile radius to my house.
I bought us both waterproof cases so we can sext through FaceTime in the shower.
Next. Level. Shit.
You're talking about alcohol when the smell of hand sanitizer is too much for me right now
The ONLY place I sext is in my anatomy class. It's an amped up level of playing doctor.
You stocked up?
No actually didn’t get a chance. If you wouldn’t mind bringing me a brownie and a bottle of Jameson that’d be nice
Randomize
