They keep asking what you are doing. I told them to quit calling her "what."
The guy I fucked in the port a poty just called me and asked me on a date!
Awkward!
No he was cute and I said yes!
you hand the children out the window. i'll pour the drinks.
For the millionth time in his career, Brett Favre has screwed over the Vikings
Apparently mid blow job I started crying telling her how "Wonderful this blow job is"
i recognized the place by the puke stain i left on the pool table when i hooked up with his roommate.
I found out why we traded puke covered dresses in the bathroom.
now that im off birth control, the world is a much scarier place
Dave a horae rider a coqw boy
I found your wallet in my underwear drawer......... Don't worry I don't plan on asking any questions
I watched you fall asleep, sitting up, eating a cinnamon roll. You proceeded to wake up...smile at your cinnamon roll, ask it how it got into your hand and then began eating it again. You asked me if you were ridiculous last night, define ridiculous.
I apparently used the line "I'm a bouncer too so i would know if I were too drunk" then they asked me to leave.
We turned a wake into a bar crawl.
My cardio is walking around the office looking for free food.
I came and sneezed at the same time. Words can't describe how awesome it was.
Randomize
