i am YELPING strip clubs. This is interesting.
and unfortunately for you, hallmark doesnt make a "sorry i was getting a blowie in the backseat of your car while you were driving, projectiled my jizz onto your hand, and caused you to crash" card
I called her new haircut "lesbian progressive" and now she's upset
Just asked my dog if he was proud of me for making it home. That drunk.
Yeah I had to push her down the hallway to the hotel room in a luggage carrier. The guy at the desk told me goodluck
if you had such a terrible roommate you would understand. jacking off in his conditioner is just the start.
Only Jon could get an entire commuter train to chant "Ride! Jon! Home!" to get a girl in bed.
Nothing says "back to school" like walking in the first day with a hangover
Easy. Go to walmart, buy a bag of charcoal. everyone gets a present and it's cheap.
Take home message: SPERM IS EVIL AND SHOULD NEVER EVER EVER BE ALLOWED UP ONE'S NOSE.
That's actually very serious....I really do think of you whenever is see pizza
The moral of the story is this:the last shot of the night is always a mistake
i said cake fell into my bra, you stood up and yelled "Im coming soldier", leaped acrossed the couch and started motorboating my boobs. i would have been cool with it if your mom didnt keep calling me the "lesbiainizer"
We took three cabs to get home, the first one dropped us off a block away, so we went back to the hotel and tried again
How early is too early to start day drinking? Asking for a friend
About five minutes ago. You’re good now.
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