Fell off bed. Face first. 10 stitches. huge scar on forehead. totally going to start telling ppl my parents died fighting Voldemort.
So we went to home depot to buy supplies to build a beer bong but ended up buying an office water cooler that were going to put vodka in
Even my Russian and Serbian roommates think I drink to much.
I had a dream about a turtle sitting on top of a horse skull. I'm certain its a symbol for my dead sex life. Trust me.
maybe you should do the old hyperventilate, take a shot of vodka, sniff someone's hair trick
Drunk me thought he was hot enough to overlook the fact that he had poison ivy and still have sex with him. Sober me wants to know if you have any calamine lotion.
since when did our medecine drawer and our sex drawer become the same drawer? we now have lube covered cough drops.
I'm not really sure what went on in my mouth last night but right now it tastes like what I can only imagine is a mixture of astroglide and peanut butter. You hungry?
If there was a saddle on his sack, she would ride it.
His roommate left already and took the beer pong table so we had to take off his bedroom door. Maybe res life won't notice.
It's a delicate game of how much porn can I look at without the other interns noticing.
you told the taxi driver your yeast infection was so bad you wanted to F a popsicle
I was having a serious heart-to-heart, and then the weed gummy kicked in.
I promised her before I left that I'd make good choices and then got drunk and fucked my best friend and her boyfriend.
Went to bed still wearing my bralette. When I was changing this morning, a Tootsie Roll fell out. I'm definitely living my best life.
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