hi brent please bring bad word music cd must most bad word please brent bring cd music bad word please brent bring cd music bad word
Nothing ruins a good sext like too many emoticons
Three of the best words ever! Cocaine. Research. Study.
Well after last night it's official...I cannot die...it time to use this power for good instead of handle contests
Just found out he cheated on me last night. But its Shark Week so I will deal with it next week.
Why yes actually, getting stoned and reading an AARP magazine IS totally where I wanted my night to end!
I'm in the freezer. Shit took away any trace of hangover outa my body.
It was an "I snuck in through the window at 5am with my underwear in my pocket" kind of night.
Its okay that he doesn't remember you, he only remembers girls by their boobs and I think you were wearing a jacket
Blood everywhere...karaoke was nice
I bought a box of wine on my way home. I figured if I’m going to be broke during the holidays, I might as well be able to drink about it.
I got a charlie horse in my ass while masturbating. We are never been going to that boot camp again.
i can't hookup with him because someone else bit my vagina
Do you want to get naked and order pizza with me
honestly, you deserve someone taller anyways
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