this is amzing! feels like my body is having sex with its surroundings!
watching my parents drink 4 loko out of usf cups playing pool and rocking out to ACDC...
Can I come live with you?
What a good family we'd make, him and I and our kids and his good dick.
Tostitos Scoops as shot glasses. Eat for chaser.
I couldnt bring myself to steal alcohol from my dead grandma
I just wanted to hook up with a white guy to prove that i could go back.
There were midgets. And vodka. If you don't appreciate the awesomeness of that sentence, read it again.
I will call him whatever I please, including flaccid dick on forehead guy but not limited to watermelon cunt head.
I show up hung over with mcdonalds. Why wouldn't he have sex with me? It's a fucking leap year...
I played ping pong,drunk, with my hand instead of the paddle. And i won. I have hidden talents
He is peeing inside and sticking up for himself. Those are two of the four signs of the apocalypse.
Definitely! I will do that this week. Right now, watching drag queens play with my dad's beard.
well when I said that I would ride his face until he ran out of oxygen, that's when I knew I shouldn't be around beautiful people anymore.
Before consuming her Waffle House she did a few deep breaths and cleared the table to "prepare herself for this"
i just got carded for condoms. wtf.....this is new. isnt safe sex a good thing?
Randomize
