If a fat man falls in the shower and nobody is in the apartment, does his pride still hurt? Answer: yes
if i could have babies with my dog i totally would cause i know thay would be fucking hott babies.
Another f*ing night of vodka youporn and xanax. I need to get a goddamn life
3 great things that go great together... But not on a Friday night. Perfect on say... a Tuesday.
When did we start counting Thursdays as weekends?
When we got our fake ids in grade 11, why?
I just feel like it's time to start counting wednesdays as well...
They're all gay and their wifi network is named HOMOS. I want to live with these people.
Well I scaled a 3 story building last night to get laid. What have u done for ur penis lately?
oh my god, there is an imprint from the nuva ring in the christmas card my mom sent me. merry christmas.
He said I was trying to make the bouncer dance with me AS he was throwing me out
when you agree to fuck a guy it does by NO means make it okay for his roommate to hide in the closet with doritos and watch
Note to self: do not ride giant beanbag chair down stairs.
Get in your clown car, pick up everyone you know, and head to the park. drunk Sledding grand prix tonight. winner takes home the leftover beer
Who are you to come into MY house and tell me when I can or cannot take my pants off?
Take home message: SPERM IS EVIL AND SHOULD NEVER EVER EVER BE ALLOWED UP ONE'S NOSE.
Sex was followed by homemade breadsticks. I waited till after the breadsticks were gone to tell her i had a gf.
just licked the cheese off a burger. that high.
Randomize
