This dress was meant to end up on your floor
I hate having morals and standards the next morning.
she's got that wholesome 16 and pregnant look.
How far into the semester do we have to be before it's ok to get drunk in between classes again?
It was like a secret agent hookup. No names, swift execution, get in- get out.
How can it be called memorial day weekend....I don't even remember this weekend
You took a bag of frozen peas to bed wiith you "to help with the inflamation".
You're so wise. You're like my sexual Grandmother Willow.
We had an indepth conversation about his employment at Arbys..
dude he was laying on two half-naked chicks, as they rubbed him down with lotion, while rolling a joint. hes like a modern-day african king
yeah its nbd she just bit me in the face. be there soon
I'm at work, and just realized I the beer smell I keep getting random whiffs of is my bra. I fail at life.
She was into my hawaiian shirt and id never made out with a dinosaur... I feel like it worked out for everyone
The only person I have to bring is crazy hospital guy
HE'S NOT INVITED!!!
Shelly has the weirdest luck. Dude offered her a job riding a bucking bronco and it was not porn or stripping but an actual g-d cow.
Randomize
