Texts From Last Night · Random Texts

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(226): View more from Ontario

i just rolled a joint on the giving tree. that book has given me so much.

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(630): View more from Illinois

My vag wants to play a game of hungry hungry hippos with your cock.

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(978): View more from Massachusetts

oh and if she happens to say anything about a cantalope and tissues... just go with it

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(702): View more from Nevada

So i learned you can't hair-of-a-dog jaeger hangovers.

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(520): View more from Arizona

It's okay, I climbed on the roof of the bar to get my shoe back. This may become a Saturday tradition. I'll keep you updated

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(203): View more from Connecticut

it felt like i was a kid in an empty playground. i fucked him on every piece of furniture in the house and then when his housemates showed up i was naked in his bed like i'd been there all along.

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(325): View more from Texas

You better wipe the dick of your lips before you come smoke this blunt.

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(319): View more from Iowa

The stripper started talking about murdering people....that lapdance turned dark.....

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(917): View more from New York City

she prefaced telling me she was pregnant with "houston, we have a problem"

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