Hi, this is ****, we hooked up a few weeks ago. I was wondering, do you have any STDs?
Firetruck pulls up, fireman jumps out n knocks on my door, asks "do you know where Johnny lives?"
he is fucking friends with his exwife on facebook, but he defriends me after 3 dates? am i that crazy?
just watched an entire episode so you think you can dance for head. so wasn't worth it
Just think, if your stepsister would've gotten knocked up 2 years earlier, she could've had a TV show. What a bitch.
My dildo fell into the bathtub. It sounded like a chainsaw.
He's moaning and crying and coughing up something audibly liquid. I can't live in this house any more.
The only thing you accomplished yesterday was dry humping me on the floor of my work place WHILE I was working.
sorry like um she made me hold her puke bag while she peed in front of me is that better
Sushi was just eaten off my naked body. I feel like I can die in peace now.
So you'd go straight for a fat chick with cheese on her tits?
Yes.
He used the term 'cock-staggering' in an email. So needless to say things are going pretty well.
Oh? And how would you explain this to your kids?
"Well pumpkin, when mommies and daddies have loved each other so much for a really long time, sometimes they trade off with other mommies and daddies"
If I knew the person sucking my dick didn't say thank you for their Christmas presents I wouldn't be able to cum.
It's a combination of amazing uncoordination, bad luck, and sheer determination to cause destruction wherever I go.
Randomize
