I have a pussy blister if you wanna poke at it with a needle tomorrow...by this text i realize just how strange our relationship is, especially because you're probably excited
I think you mean your blister is filled with pus...atleast i hope
i went to throw her on my bed and threw her straight in to my bike
I sent the random girl I had sex with last night a 'happy mothers day' text as a reminder to get the morning after pill.
You had a towel around you and you called it your shot bib.
I am VERY upset that you called my fiesta a waste of time.
I didn't plan on sleeping with him until he told me his mom is deaf.. Then I felt bad.
I tried exercising today. I ended up masturbating to the Wii fit trainer.
I am going to be fat forever.
Half my face is frozen, my vagina is broken, I'm wearing only gym shorts eating a plate of mashed potatoes, avatar is on my tv. There's a naked guy on my couch whose name idk. I needa talk to you asap
She can't brag about all the anal sex she has and then expect me not to awkwardly stare at her boyfriend when she brings him around
I say "glasses of whiskey" like I didn't chug it out of the bottle
Bring me a cialis. .. I feel like having a super dick today
I let him stay at my place since i had to work early and when i got home there was a fruit snack wrapper in my bed. I dont have any fruit snacks. Which means he brought his own fruit snacks to the fuck session.
the awesomest thing about staying behind in our lame ass dorm room by myself during spring break: I've now nutted in 3 inconspicuous locations on your side of the room. brag to me again about how fucking awesome tahoe is you shithead. I dare you.
Last night I drank three beers and threw up in a tree house. I am ashamed.
My life is a random series of events connected only by bottles of Seagram's 7
Randomize
