Somedays I wish I were a bird. Then people wouldn't be so grossed out when I vomit
Whats the glycemic index on semen?
The guy I fucked last night is well worth up the ass tuition. I just wish I could tell dad thanks!
I can't right now...you know Sunday night is whn I get drunk and do laundry.
You kept running up to random groups of people and saying "I'm a Dallas Cowboy Cheerleader so we all have to chug our drinks!" and they all listened to you.
No. I want to vom filet mignon and ziti bits everywhere and my body feels like I ran a cock triathalon. I feel less triumphant and more like death.
HIS TAN HAS PUT ME TO SHAME. HE TOOK HIS PANTS OFF AND HIS DICK LOOKED LIKE A GHOST
Just wait til you visit, there will be an endless supply of fresh dick for your demand #economics
She wants me to spank her and yell "Kerry! Your father is disappointed with your choices!" Fuck up but crazy hot? Or just fuck up crazy?
Well i think matt shit his pants so ill mark that as a W
What is soo wrong about a house of half-naked people hugging each other and laughing?
The pinata full of drugs?
She's not a foreskin expert like you
I felt like I was having sex with Joffrey from Game of Thrones. Needless to say how bad it was
I'm in the upstairs bathroom. I went to the bathroom after class and realized this is not a shit I want to have publicly. I ran home. We can go to lunch, just give me a min
I ran into the marine at the grocery store. Its like my vag and his penis have this way of finding each other when I least want it.
Randomize
