So I just found panties on our kitchen floor that had a slit in the vagina section. Does that mean shes open for sex, or she has a penis?
worst morning ever. completed my walk of shame home to find my parents, grandma, and priest had come down to surprise me on my birthday. now i'm in the car with them to go get my car from the bar.
I told him that he is like a snow storm I never know when he is coming, how many inches I will get, or how long it will last
Come outside. The vendor wants to go out strong tonight! Russian hooker interviews. Don't ask. We leave in 3 minutes.
No it was after you showed us his fraternaty letters shaven out of your pubes
you can now officially say a girl has shaved your initials into her pubes. welcome to the club.
Do you think I can wear the dress I went to jail in with the shoes I went to prom in to the wedding tonight?
nothing says roomie bonding better than a sunday shroom trip.
announcing that you were the mayor of bjtown got their attention.
This vodka tastes like I'm not going to class tomorrow.
I wish I could have a tequila IV with me all the time. Intravenous tequila intoxication.
just so you know.. snorkeling hungover: great decision. I was throwing up and he couldn't even tell!
There was nowhere else for me to go. I'm like the island of misfit toys but I'm hot.
Painting strippers breast and vaginas to look like easter eggs. What r u doing tonight.
Sorry I've been a slutty nightmare this week
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