Tell me why I go to the dollar store for nail polish remover and a ghetto black dude trys to hit on me in the parking lot, then he gets in line behind me with a dousche bag literally and that is his only purchase.
Someone should've told Pope jumper lady and terrorist pants guy that the Worst of 2009 lists already went out....
what is the aproppriate waiting time between having sex and playing super Mario brothers
6 min
at the last minute we also decided to throw an egg in the beer bong. and he drank it, shell and all.
Its official, drinking for 15 hours counts as a suicide attempt
The leasing office is hiring, so I gave them my resume and class schedule. I doubt they'll call me considering last summer at their "exotic animal" pool party I marched in with a funnel and demanded the employees chug. I doubt they've forgotten.
Ive seen him cuddling a giant inflatable seahorse. Nothing could be creepier than that.
Does Jim keep sending you pics of him in drag too???? If so, are you also slightly uncomfortable?
And I just realized we will be at a strip club when the end of the world is supposed to happen. This is destiny
I thought my life was going to shit but then I read about Amanda Bynes and I realize it's not so bad
the amount I squirted last night was insane. Im glad i ignored tlc's advice, i went chasing waterfalls and loved every god damn minute of it.
I JUST LIKE FLANNEL, NOT VAGINAS! OK?
I'm ordering sushi and crying over finals. Come over and bring wine.
I have no clue how you survived last night but I applaud you. 21 body shots off 9 bodies in under four hours has to be a record.
Like I thought me shitting my pants was bad today... Then the election happened.
Randomize
