My grandmother just explained bulimia to me as a diet
They say rihanna has been dating several mets players. They go on to say that she feels safe with them because they can't beat anybody.
I didnt shave my beard last night, so I could feel it while Im shrooming today
Are you still giving blowjobs?
Who is this?
Dont have access to internet. masturbating to shake weight commercial.
on a related note, did you know that the fire alarm in our apartment talks?
I'm not being over dramatic, but I think my heart is going to stop beating.
Resolution for 2011: blow jobs are a privilege, not a right.
In all seriousness...vodka, almond milk and chocolate syrup make a decent white russian.
i put that paper plate back in your cabinet because i ate all the ketchup off and you can't even tell. you're welcome.
St Patricks day needs to be raged like youve never raged before. Like youre in the desert and it starts raining beer. Like it's the day the announced the 21st amendment (which is the one that ended prohibition)
Is "when in doubt date the guy with the bigger dick" a good philosophy?
I'm drunk enough to know I'm texting you and sober enough to know what I'm saying to you
He struggled for a second trying to unhook my bra and I said "4/10. Novice."
U just kept yelling her vagina wasn't a priority bc u had a bowl of cheerios calling your name
Randomize
