I want leopard sheets
haha sexcapades
thats the plan
Say something about gay babies.
is 69 when you're sideways or up & down? I was on my back & confused.
it's sad when i round the corner and the dog goes directly for the liquor store
I've never played a more sexually-tense game of Uno in my life.
But the ghost of his schlong past haunts you
I needed to do something spontaneous, and since no one had coke this was the next best thing.
my memory may be fuzzy, but the 20+ naked pictures I sent him were surprising clear
"I'm looking more at his dick bulge." Never thought I'd hear those words come out of my boyfriend's mouth.
Besides, I'm booked tomorrow. I'm planning on drinking heavily and crying in the bath.
I made him watch the first 5 episodes of Game of Thrones before I decided to sleep with him.
I supernannyed him into submission
Apparently the cops had to handcuff me in order to get me to come with to the hospital with them. They asked me if I had had any experience with handcuffs before and I replied, "Only in bed." What a life
Sexting gets boring after a while. I'm eating a sandwich right now and googling 'sexting ideas' and just copy/pasting lines.
It's a good sandwich though.
OMG. When you threw the used condom on your floor you threw it in my purse!!! I just went to grab my headphones and it was stuck to them!
Randomize
