Texts From Last Night · Random Texts

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(586): View more from Michigan

I mean a good dj is a huge turn on

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(714): View more from California

It has come to my attention that I should apologize for myself and my friends

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(314): View more from Missouri

It's a Westpoint/Army thing, we talk about Miley Cyrus a lot

(502): View more from Kentucky

Why?

(314): View more from Missouri

Because when is jailbait ever not funny? Answer: Never

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(516): View more from New York

my dog ran away and came back with a marajuana plant. what are you doing tonight?

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(615): View more from Tennessee

just had sex in his gielfriend's bed, and puked all over it. i need to get out of here.

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(905): View more from Ontario

Ordered a large pizza and definitely just paid the cab driver in pizza slices. I'm glad there's someone out there that's just as fat at heart as we are.

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(201): View more from New Jersey

Oh my god, I am the best RA ever. I'm teaching my freshman girls how to deep throat on bananas as a group bonding activity. I'm making the religious ones eat them for potassium.

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(330): View more from Ohio

i'll llet you know if at any point this night starts to make any sense

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(518): View more from New York

I just feel weird about accepting their wedding invite when I've got a post-engagement video on my phone of him jacking off in my bathroom.

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