I know its small, but please -- stop calling it my "weenis".
In hindsight, i should have predicted that a drink called the 'rocky mountain bear fucker' would not end in a pleasant experience
why are there beer bottles in my dishwasher?
yeah my parents were only ten feet away and we somehow managed to do it in five different positions without them noticing
Second night spent with creepy guy. I either need to change his nickname or stop doing this.
Please tell me that's his leg and you didn't really just send me a picture of your dog's dick
At least I'm doing lines with a notecard. That counts for something right
I can't keep up with all the guys you're banging. I'm just going to start referring to them by city of origin.
Any chance I can buy my dignity back with $45?
I'm officially no longer allowed to make any of my own decisions regarding alcohol, men, or the combination of both. Thats up to you now. Do me proud.
God it's like my stomach is full of drunk bees
Split a bottle of Johnny Walker and then decided to eat a shit ton of peanut butter. That was a rough bed to wake up in
I'm so high. I'm going to need directions to get home.
Hey can you tell Daniel there's a bottle of Captain Morgan's in the dryer ...
Sorry I think you have the wrong number
Yes it looks like I do
One of these days I would like to go out drinking and stick to plan of just getting drunk and not be sidetracked with other people's plans of doing drugs along the way. I didn't even want to not feel my teeth tonight but here we go just another Thursday night when you live I live
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