CONFIRMATION: i wiki searched it and Justin Bieber is 15 not 13. so i dont feel like as much of a pedofile now....
Just donated money to a kid for her softball team.
Obviously I'm trying to futher our next generation of lesbians. I may be hitting on her at the gay bar in ten years...
I'm watching Intervention to get pumped up for tonight
After having to meet his mom half naked, running into the tree in front of her didn't seem so bad.
We tried to get a ride from the same firefigters that were turning off the fire alarm going off at our house.
we are currently watching a singalong porn...just thought you should know
Ok so I could say "im sorry"...but instead ill just say "unsupervised...jager...military guys...green school bus called the juice box...and HUGE dick"
I don't think you should be sorry for such memorable sex that I yell your name when you aren't around.
1. My arms are cement 2. I wish dogs could answer the phone
I did coke with the Royal Navy last night. God save the queen.
You left me a drunk voicemail of you describing your pizza to me at 2 AM
At this point in job hunting, I'm willing to become a leather daddy if it means some sort of income.
I can't tell if my roommate is crying or having sex and the fact that there's anime in the background is only making this more confusing
There's no triumph quite like finally banging your high school boyfriend 6 years later
Lets just say the phase, What a dick, has a whole new meaning at the urinals.
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