he made me salute his american flag boxers before i took them off
WAKE UP. GET ME THE PILL. AND SAVE MY LIFE
We lost the cork forthe wine, so we used a tampon as a replacement. I never loves tampons so much
just went to the store to buy a mop & tampons. i feel like i just gave in to all those women jokes.
I don't know how many crown and cokes he went through but I know it was more that I have fingers. We are never leaving Texas.
His penis was definitely too big to be the type that wants commitment. Shit.
I blew him while he was standing up and he drooled on my head
Thanks for letting me in last night. I was drunkenly sleepwalking.
And suddenly....Tubas. Tubas everywhere.
I never thought wine and chicken nuggets would end up being a thing that I did, but here we are
What the matter? A girl can't play some Super Mario without being accused of being high?
The guy who said he's gonna suck your butthole till your face caves in is at Maggie's
Worst case: you're extra horny, have no control of your mouth or actions, and maybe murder someone. Child's play.
It will pretty much be equal to the feeling I had when you let me hold your dick while you were peeing, or when I graduated high school!
just had an allergic reaction to my dildo. My life is ruined.
Randomize
