I just woke up in the coolest sweatsuit i have ever seen..it has cory's name on the tag...do we know a cory?
**i WaNt TO sLaP mY niECe wHO ThINks iT iS cUte tO WriTE LiKE tHiS**
Just toasted a glass of brandy with my own reflection to my dimples. Why are you not here?
Someone in my class is wearing shirt and on the back it says...National Bible Quiz Finalist 2006. Do you really expect me to find a guy here
You can't use the, "think about your future" line when trying to convince me to save some weed for tomorrow.
I was just "that girl you seen blowing some dude outside when you drove by"
What was your penis's nickname in high school? Also, what was it's theme song?
We left an ass print on the piano.
At least I know she didn't hear me crawl to my room. Or did I walk on my hands? Fuck if I know.
I call BS on that! THAT WAS TOTALLY AN INTERCEPTION. JENNINGS HAD THAT.
PEOPLE ARE FLIPPING FURNITURE HERE. IN THE ROOM ABOVE ME. I HEARD SOMEONE WOOKIE CALL IN ANGER FROM SOMEWHERE IN THIS BUILDING.
I'd be lying if I said I wasn't scared, even a little.
I like dinosaurs. I like penises. It's kind of a win win
Sex with you deserves a trophy and a day of remembrance in honor of it.
I told you that you should stop drinking and you responded "Thanks for telling me how to live, North Korea!"
You ghosted you're own booty call. Wow what a sad sad man.
I think I'm just going to get a farm, a vibrater, and a lot of wine.
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