I think I died a long time ago.
i have a new swear word: supercalifuckaliciousexpialadamnit
So the last day on the vacation I woke up in the bath tub. My mom said she asked me during the night what I was doing and I said, "swimming."
Phrase i just heard while watching the U.S. open: "Boy they have really trimmed it well, this has got to be the tightest hole in the Open."
Apparently they want to see what I've been working on for the last three months. Can I just hand them a bunch of empty fifths?
Dude manswers just said that a guy can only cum up to eight times in one day. I'm gonna prove that show wrong.
ha well at least you have goals.
I would say a second date is not looking likely, I acciedentally bit his penis. it's still bleeding 43 minutes later.
I try to help out whenever I can. Speaking of rough nights I woke up half naked on Brady's couch with bloody paper towels duct taped to my foot.
The timing couldn't have been better if I planned it. His mom walked away, I vomited in their mulch, and then his mom came back and offered me bread.
on the subway to an interview & there's a dude doing whippits out of a cheese wil can
Sean getting laid is an anomaly, Sean banging the hottest single girl at the wedding is a fucking unicorn being ridden by a leprechaun walking through mordor.
our friendships a beautiful delicate flower...that has been crushed by peni
Nothing like coming home and finding the nearly full bottle of fireball you forgot you had stashed before your trip
It's the little things
Can I drink yet?
It's Monday morning.
Your point?
Because you put the dick in ridiculously amazing boyfriend. And you deserve to have nice things happen to your penis. That's why.
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