I'm so bummed I missed coconut bowling. It's fucking cold here and no coconuts to be found
i have i love cock written on my hand and a vagina drawn on my arm and i just finished eating breakfast with the whole fam for mothers day
ahah at least you got away with it
nope...my gran was the one who informed me
I just saw a woman parallel park a horse. Awesome. Only in New York..
He just told me he would murder a thousand dolphins to be with me. Quite the charmer.
is it true that cum stays in you for 7 years?
that's gum
Hahhaha I literally just rolled outta bed and went to get beer in my pj's and slippers. God I love graduating
This drunk girl wants you to know that I do actually like you. I'm not just using you for sex. I think you're cool.
Did he seem like the type of guy that would maybe take weed as payment?
I'll text you later. I think she thinks we're taking this whole "no sex" thing seriously.
Although a guy bought me a shot of fireball last wknd and I told him he wouldn't even get half a handjob for that and walked away so don't tell me I don't have standards
I'm hungover laying in my moms bed watching Space Jam.. Adult Life..
And your boyfriend doesn't mind you constantly taking pictures of his dick just to freak out your brother?
its more like he's accepted that he can't stop me
Nobody feels the need to text me back. Men. And I sent myself a message saying nakedness. I'm all the man I need.
I continue to impress myself. Also I'm probably pregnant
He said we were going to get fucked up in the woods so here we are
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