a smallpox vaccine scar is like a lower back tattoo.
Was just hit on by a guy with 2 kids and one was named Rocky. I need to get out of Buena Park.
trent lit his nipple on fire and said "i am the only highlander"
Would you rather have a 10 inch but pencil thin penis or a 2 inch very fat one?
Fat, it's not about touching the bottom it's about raising hell of the sides.
there's a wrestler here in a Ferrari//puma hoodie who is telling girls his win//loss record as a pickup line.
i was just singing like a virgin out loud my mom told me to stop kidding myself
I'm sitting in the drive through at Mcdonalds right now watching the workers pressure wash the vomit I left from last night.
No. Especially when my uncle started stripping. Too many shots. So that's where I get that from.
And then you guys went on to show us ur sex positions from the before. Thanks
So can we talk about how we all three made out with the bike taxi driver in lieu of paying him. I'm not even mad, that's resourceful. You know what married girls would have had to do? They'd have had to pay.
I dont care how drunk you were. Making a bet with MY husband at MY wedding that you could seal the deal before he could is ALWAYS inappropriate!
I think my fortune cookie is telling me I give good blowjobs.
I just woke up, its 6AM and i'm pretty sure the guy passed out next to me is 70% ugly...
Way to fucking accidentally drunk dial me while you're talking to and buying other girls drinks. Don't call me.
I swear to god, if you ever yell my name during sex with my sister again..your balls will be stapled to your nipples.
Randomize
