i now know how you feel when you have to walk me home. she ran into a streetlight and into garbage.
The walk of shame is far, far worse on crutches.
so its official, girls can see a boner through my snuggie.
Good news.. I found out what I did Saturday night. Bad news... I found out what I did Saturday night.
he busted in while i was showering looked at me and said "youve lost weight bro, no homo" and started puking into the sink
You're being dramatic. You can calm down, or you can piss off. Either way, I ate your burrito.
Sorry you called when I was puking in a cheetos bag
i promise the blood crusted on your tits is from him motorboating you after he tripped into the pool stick. nothing else.
Sometimes you gotta say "hey, its been a long semester. Let's puke before 10"
When exactly does a bender just become a lifestyle?
An "unreasonable amount of ejaculate" isn't a reason to be angry at me.
They pay me enough to pretend to be either helpful, or heterosexual. If they want both I need one hell of a raise.
I'm at that stage of drunk where just imagining having sex makes me motion sick.
My theme for the night was drink diego drink! Unfortunately Dora was not there to navigate me to the bathroom
So, I just found out Ireland, is #1 in binge drinking. I know its Sunday but this one is for America.
Randomize
