im pretty sure i tried to attack the vending machine last night
lol who won
well im in the hospital right now so u tell me
she thought the capital of kansas was topanga.
I just saw a Kleenex commercial and thought about last night. I'm sorry about your hair.
I think I just found part of a tooth on my bed... What goes on in here?
I wore sweatpants. When I show up to a booty call in sweatpants there's your warning
Maybe just the first 2 wks of Nov can be dick detox.
Girl please we both know I eat his bullshit up like its candy sprinkled with crack
I guess she was just worried I'd end up sleeping with you again
It's not too late to disappoint her you know...
The man was doing everything in his power to get away from his wife, including go into the gay club.
There are far too many naked dudes in your apartment, and they aren't even watching porn. I mean seriously, they've got the Lion King on.
In case you were wondering I realized something last night, Rick James was correct. Cocaine is a hell of a drug.
Also Fuck you Stephen King and Fuck the horse you rode in on, making me cry In front of my coworkers.
He's on the porch naked. Help.
We got cut off at the bar, but it's okay because I tactically rolled behind the bar and grabbed a bottle of whiskey. Meet me in the back booth when you're done puking in the bathroom. This is about to get real slutty.
Just made a drug contact standing in the sandwich line in the dining hall. Is this real life?
You're my fucking hero.
Randomize
