The girl in the car behind me just took a bowl hit. I miss college.
that's the ideal party shoe. cute, but i can still puke in them.
My coke dealer called me at midnight just to ask how to spell a word. Not sure how I should feel about that.
The slutty girl scout law, revised for halloween 10: on my honor i will try, to serve my vagina and my shot glass. To hold back friends hair at all voming moments and to live by the sluttly girl scout law.
I made him sleep with a condom on and i passed out on the carpet with only a bra on.
This time, try to not get fingered in the middle of the living room.
I DIDNT GET FINGERED
I was rubbed
Until this weekend, a man hadn't made me orgasm since the night Obama was elected. Now THAT is change I can believe in.
Super awkward that I just now realized I added no verb to the first statement about super hero porn. We were watching it, not making it. Clarity.
Can I send you a picture of my penis? I feel like it looks really good right now and I need someone to share it with
I found a blow up pig at an adult store. He will have to fuck that on video if he wants anal. Also, I bought a pair of clear high heels. Tell your brother I love him.
Side note: the physics of a guy my size and age getting laid in the backseat of a Toyota Camry are absolutely staggering
fuck you I'm eating salad I can't be drunk.
Come on, will you just fuck him so we can watch Star Wars.
He just went to a job interview a sharpie moustache drawn on his face..
He answered the door stark naked. When I called him on it he shrugged and said 'casual Friday ' Some boys can't be trusted to work from home.
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