Homeslice needs to figure out he's so 2006
direct quote: "i'm so over my clit" either best or most awkward conversation possible with your COUSIN
at least you got your priorties in line. new years first, than the baby.
She literally crushed my balls between her butt cheeks. It was both the greatest and worst thing ever. Dancers are awesome.
we spent fifteen minutes trying to convince you that you weren't locked inside of your car
I just found a plastic cup with panties inside of it. Let's play CSI.
happy find a boyfriend by next Valentines Day. Its like a new years resolution but depressing
I wonder what chicks would think if they learned that when we add them on fb we email their bikini pics to each other.
Tomorrow may or may not be a problem cause i'll be wonder woman for a halloween party aka i'll be fucked up & try & jump off of shit thinking i can fly
The salesman at the smoke shop just told me my hair is glorious...
He looked at me and just said "moist". The entire party shut down from uncomfortableness. He is an anti-party wizard.
I'm fine w planning around your penis prospecting. Saturday it is.
my roommates are pretty pissed at me. they sent me out for ice and i came back with a kitten.
Why did I wake up with a half-eaten burrito and a vaccuum cleaner in my bed? ...on top of me.
You have a full penis tattoo of a cobra fighting a mongoose, don't you?
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