I would say the hottest chick there looked like Susan Boyle and the ugliest like Bea Arthur
Nice use of current day folklore
he pulled a hernia and i had to get the morning after pill. you tell me how our valentines day went.
girl is pretty boring. i'm gonna see if she'll let me finger her.
You know you have a great job when you need a DD home from work at 6pm.
there is a baby dancing on the table amidst the smoke of multiple cigarettes. i want to trade lives with that baby.
Leaving ole miss girls house to go to the stripper girls house. Why did it take losing my job to start getting laid all the damn time?
A very small part of me wants you to appreciate me for more than just my breasts. But the rest of me is breasts.
Jenny was looking for something soft to drink since it's only noon, she chose spiced rum. Think she might die today
just to let you know its hard to talk to your father while being fingered up against a car..
You better buy her a motherfucking bunnyrabit to make up for this. And me footsie pajamas for being a cockblock.
I was woken up in my old house by the new residents ... I don't even have a Key anymore
So your contact has been changed to "jizz weave" in my phone. Now, as strange and random as that may be, I'm slightly embarrassed to say that I have more than one contact that fits that description so please identify yourself.
What's clit gel and why is it in my wallet.
Something must have happened, they started yelling truffle butter and you said we needed to leave NOW
Living alone for four weeks has given me unrealistic expectations of pantslessness.
Randomize
